Perfect Polly Will Give You Nightmares

Perfect Polly, the $18 plastic bird with a great informercial.

Sep 25, 2013 | Patrick Flood

Sometimes at TINA.org we see ads that are neither deceptive nor “ads we like” per se, but rather ads that are just plain weird. This is one such ad. I saw this on television during the later innings of a baseball game.

Perfect Polly can be all yours for $10.99 plus $6.99 for shipping and handling. So for $17.98, you can have a small plastic bird that will make noise all day. And then you can, apparently, rub that small plastic bird all over your face:

In defense of the bird-face rub, it is probably more sanitary to rub a plastic bird on your face than to rub a live bird on your face. One point to Perfect Polly.

I’m going to note here that TINA.org believes that visiting your grandparents is overwhelmingly preferable to buying them a chirping plastic bird.

I’m also going to recommend that, unlike the girl in this commercial, no one fall asleep next to this fake bird. It’s going to watch you sleep.

Patrick Flood

Patrick was a former project associate who helped with TINA.org's social media efforts and wrote for the website. He holds a B.A. in Classical Languages from Wesleyan University.