I Propose a National Ordinary Day

Perusing Twitter at any given day of the year – literally, any given day – will reveal some sort of celebration happening of that particular day – in some corner of the world. Take for example the upcoming June 1^st celebration of National Heimlich Maneuver Day.  Seems like an odd observance, although I’m sure people that have choked on a stray piece of hot dog or two are extremely grateful for its existence.  Just don’t go around grabbing friends or co-workers and practicing without need, or permission. It’ll make for an awkward exchange.  The same day is also National Say Something Nice Day, which could be useful after something like that.

Then we have National Repeat Day on June 3, and of course, National Repeat Day on June 3, just kidding. Unless you’re reading this on June 3, then I’m not kidding. Just keep reading this same sentence over and over. June 8 is National Best Friends Day, while June 9 is National Donald Duck Day. Mickey will want to celebrate both with the Donald, I’m sure. The list goes on and on.

There are also weeks designated for special observance and months. For example, June is National Aquarium Month. There’s National Candy Month, National Dairy Month, National Turkey Lovers Month, National Camping Month, etc., all also in June. If your head is spinning – don’t worry, you’re not alone. (There’s probably a day for that too).

Beyond the seemingly silly and trivial nature of all of this is an often ignored truth – advertisers and corporations have a field day (get it?) with all of these celebrations. National Olive Day (June 1^st) becomes a trending Twitter-tunity (can I copyright that?) for olive producers or olive oil companies to espouse the healthy benefits of olive consumption. Wine day too. The possibilities are endless for free advertising and a chance to strike while the online media iron is hot.

It’s a daily practice. #NationalWineDay https://t.co/OX9NfnsuQx pic.twitter.com/uB9YsjdBeS

— Amazon (@amazon) May 26, 2016

Quite often, it’s companies themselves that declare a day, or at least try to. According to NationalCalendarDay.com founder Marlo Anderson, “easily over 50%,” of the 18,000 applications for a National Day that arrive to his desk on a yearly basis are from corporations.

Indeed, it is often companies that are requesting a particular day that will match well with a product they want to sell. Out of 365 days in a year, there are at least 365 “National” days either devoted to a food or a beverage, providing ample opportunity for free marketing.

Did somebody say Donuts? We’re only 1 week away from #NationalDonutDay! Check back for three great upcoming offers! pic.twitter.com/ExDiweUZhl

— Giant Eagle, Inc. (@GiantEagle) May 27, 2016

Since it seems like anyone can have a say in designating a day, I declare June 7^th National Ordinary Day.  Yep, that’s right, just an ordinary day.  Go about your business. Don’t buy anything special. It also happens to be National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, which makes my offer vanilla-pale in comparison. But I appeal to people’s sense of rationality – to people’s political resistance of complete corporatization of every day life.  Oh who am I kidding.  Two scoops please.